Singin’ in Heaven

Hello fellow Americans (deep Bill Clinton voice), although I have not come here to talk about his (or mine for that matter, ) sexual life, I always imagined going in front of an audience like Amy Schumer and having him present me to the people like that. Well even if you’re not American, welcome!

Although this post is not the happiest of post I need to acknowledge that one of my icons has sadly passed away, and it is safe to say she might have died of a broken heart. In my 22 years of life I have heard marvelous, yet sad, stories about soulmates passing just days or months of each other (think of the movie The Notebook, but in real life) and can’t help but to think that they have died of broken hearts, because for me two halves of a soul aren’t meant to live in different planes for too long. Well, these stories are usually having to do with partners, husbands & wives, lovers, but can it be related to mother and daughter?

I have heard that the worst pain in the world is parents having to bury  their children, it’s something a parent should never have to experience in their lifetime and Debbie Reynolds, although experienced losing her daughter, didn’t have to bury her. Just a day after the horrible news that our very own Princess Leia (Carrie Fisher) passed away it has come to our attention that Debbie Reynolds, her mother, has also passed.

Now I love my mother more than anything in this world, and when the time comes for me to pass (I just ran and knocked on wood) wherever my soul may go (I’m not hanging everything on heaven or hell) the first person I would look for is my mother, well maybe God to see if he’s a man or a woman, and then Grace Kelly and then probably Nicole Brown Simpson because I have some questions, but then definitely my mother. When I need guidance the first person I turn to is her, safe to say I would be 100% lost without her. Although we bicker and fight all the time there’s a bond that comes with that Mother/Daughter relationship that I know isn’t shared with my brother or that even my brother and dad share. The relationship I have with my mother is one I hope to all the heavens and hell that I share with my daughter, through screaming matches, gossip, laughter, so much advice and many tears, I have come to find that, although so many  women are my icons they weren’t my idols or the people I aspired to be, that belongs to my mom.

So now imagine you having that relationship, but being the mother. Carrying that human life inside of you for 9 months and sharing their entire life with you. Being that person that they have never had to live without, having to be on the sideline for some mistakes, wiping tears that have been shade do to heartbreaks or failures, mending wounds, celebrating triumphs, making memories and then after 60 years that person is just gone, that one person that you have loved more than anything in the world. Is it safe to say that Debbie Reynolds literally died of a broken heart?

I always though that soulmates were the most powerful thing in the world, because as the story goes, the souls that were cut in half was because of how strong they were together. But something tells me that a relationship between a parent and their child is much more powerful. I have come to realized that although soulmates share two halves of one whole when parents have children a part of their soul is reborn within the child, it doesn’t matter the background, adopted, accidental (pretty sure I was an accident), IVF, planned, sperm donor, and whatever else, once a parent chooses to be just that they’re willing participants in giving up that part of their souls.  So when a child passes, that little part that lived in them also dies, meaning that a once whole soul is now shattered.

Debbie Reynold taught me how to be optimistic and happy in the worst times, she taught me that by singing in the rain or kissing a man under bad weather can make anything bad into something good. She taught me that you might wake up in a mood, but it’s all up to you if you decide to stay in that mood. Reynolds was that Hollywood starlet that made many move out to La La Land to find their version of the American Dream. She thought me that my destiny is in my hands, and I can choose my own path. Her daughter, Carrie Fisher, taught me how to be a bad ass Princess (Queen)  bitch (My mom did that too). But the last lesson that this Mother/Daughter duo taught me was that your mom will show up anywhere whenever you need her. Because if it was me I’m pretty sure I would be terrified and my mom would show up in a heartbeat. Carrie & Debbie were the ultimate #MotherDaughterGoals and I hope they are happy together Singing in Heaven surrounded with all their friends and family.

Debbie, may you sing forever (in any weather)


Carrie, may the force be forever with you.

Rest in peace you wonderful gals, and thank you for taking me on so many adventures from Halloweentown to a hundred new galaxies.

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-Queen O

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