Oh Boy(s)…

Hello, Websters (not the dictionary) it’s your friendly neighborhood Tinderella. Well not actually. But I have been on a few of the common Tinder dates, and they just get more and more confusing.  Julia (I’ll talk about her in a later post) and I seem to miss the training on “How to succeed in relationships without trying.”

Is this why people get back together with their high school sweethearts? (My grandparents, my parents, my godparents (confirmation and baptism ones), & my brother) Because the dating pool is a disaster, technology and the “hook up” generation have screwed everything up, and a girl like me needs a map to navigate what’s acceptable and what’s a “no no” on a date. The common issues that I have yet to figure out are: who texts first, playing hard to get, games in general, and the L word… Labels. Let’s do bullets points, shall we?

  • Texts: I COULDN’T CARE LESS! If I want to talk to you, I will text you. But the issue is “he should text first”, “you shouldn’t double text”, and my favorite “I always text him first”

I get it, because I now find myself thinking every single one of these, but honest to god, fuck society and its rules, and F the fact that I have succumbed into feeling like I can’t text a guy I like because it’s “un-lady like.” You know what’s un-lady like? Not wearing underwear with a micro skirt on. PUT SOME UNDERWEAR ON LADIES, you can catch something, look at Britney, Paris & Lindsay, they did it, and look at them now, why follow their example? Are we going to go on a bender and shave our heads? NO!

  • Playing hard to get:
    • GUYS: You know how parents tell boys not to play with yourselves? Yeah, the rule here still applies, but now it’s more specific to the organ that pumps blood, not sperm. The heart (for those I just confused), that doesn’t belong to you, so you don’t get to go through the emotions that the person you are playing with goes through, and the confusion since girls overthink EVERYTHING.
    • GIRLS: What’s the benefit in playing hard to get? It has come to my attention that playing hard to get bored a guy and it makes them leave, now all of a sudden you’re home alone, on a Saturday, with a bowl of ice cream telling all your girlfriends how he’s an asshole. WELL YOU PLAYED HARD TO GET!

Honestly, this has nothing to do with you being “easy.” If you are unavailable, uninterested, un(something) don’t even try. If you are going out with someone one date, two dates, three dates, why are you playing hard to get? They already got you, now be a grown up and either tell them you don’t feel it or tell them you feel something, or you want to continue exploring this. Honesty and communication are key my dear readers.

  • Games: The only games you should be playing with each other are Pictionary, Tabu, or Charades (literally not figuratively), and you should be on the same team. Although I would never play Tabu with someone that’s not Ana, it’s like cheating, Try to figure out Burger King in 1 second, and with one simple hand gesture, pretty sure we hold a record.

Why do people insist on games, again, do what you feel is right, not what society is telling you to do?

  • The L Word: Labels are the only guide into knowing what the hell is going on, but getting to agree to a label or even having the conversation to agree to a label… well that’s just terrifying is it not?
    • Also, the fact that there are like 50 thousand labels now-a-day IS RIDICULES! Hi, I want 6:
      1. Single
      2. Boyfriend/Girlfriend
      3. Fiancée/Fiancé
      4. Husband/Wife
      5. Widowed
      6. Divorced

I’m the type of person that needs to know what I am to another person, or if it’s leading up to it. I’m 22, and a lot of people seem to think that in my age I’m just looking for hook-ups, well no. It’s exhausting to date, I don’t want to catch something, and I want that security of having arms wrap around me at the end of a horrible day, week, month, year. I might be a weird 22-year-old to be like this, but everyone is different. That why this whole spiel is catered to my beliefs and the person I am.

Now I don’t want to blame EVERYTHING on the fact that I don’t understand the dating/relationship world. I have my flaws too, anyone that knows me knows I’m allergic to feelings, and I’ve never really been in love, I’ve always thought that being in love makes you vulnerable or weak and thanks to my thousand and one walls I’ve built around myself, I don’t really open up to others. If I want to do so though and find someone I’m beginning to think that Tinder might not be the best option. It is known as THE “hook-up app” so why am I still there? Who knows, I might find the love of my life there, but I feel like I shouldn’t hold my breath.

Anyone know where one can find nice and eligible bachelors that are not interested in being a part of a reality TV show and agree with everything I just said? Julia & I will be awaiting your response.

P.S. If anyone has a map into this crazy dating world, please share!

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– Queen O

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